It's Okey...

"Let me tell you something about living:

It's okey to live... go and live!

It's okey to be happy,

   be sad and get mad.

It's okey to feel it so bad!

It's okey to give and forgive

It's okey to take and make mistake

   get lost and find yourself back

It's okey! Don't feel bad!

It's okey to cry and try,

Laugh out loud and cry under your pillow.

It's okey to feel the pain,

   be broken and get your healing.

It's okey to feel it over and over again.

It's okey! Why are you thinking?..

It's okey to feel everything.

It's okey to love and be love again.

It's okey to show your feelings to anyone.

It's okey! What are you worrying about?..

It's okey to ask question and give answers.

It's okey to appreciate and treat people good.

It's okey to dream and create your goal.

It's okey! What are you waiting for??

It's okey to explore and draw.

It's okey to try something new.

It's okey to express and feel release.

It's okey, You are free!

It's okey to believe in forever.

It's okey to give everything to yourself more than other.

It's okey to make yourself feel better. 

It's okey! believe me,there's no limit to dare!

It's okey to tell what you wanna say,

    And it's okey to just pass the day

It's okey to live with nothing, 

    And it's okey to have everything. 

It's okey to eat and it's okey to be fit.

It's okey! What are you scared of? Or who?..

Listen carefully, hear me out!

You are free!!

Life will happen just once,

so go and don't miss a chance!

It's okey to live...

Experience life...

Taste life...

Feel the life..touch it..hear it.

Go and live.

Just live.

Life is exhausting, but then again...

Life is good.

She...

She...
Ngumingiti na sya ulit
Yung ngiting hindi na pilit.
Tumatawa na sya muli,
Yung tawang hindi kunwari.

She...
She finally love herself again!
And she get back from pain.
It's true! Something is healing inside her.
Something is smiling like for the first time this year.

She...
Ibang iba ang pakiramdam nya.
Totoong masaya na sya!
Ligayang hindi kita ng iba.
Pero damang-dama nya.

She...
She can't deny it anymore,
She love herself more than before.
Her world is not the same any longer,
How she wish to share it to people aaround her.

She...
Kitang kita sa kanyang mga mata,
Totoong mahal na nya ang sarili nya!
Mas kaya na nyang harapin ang bukas.
Kahit gaano pa kalalim ang sugat na bumabakas.

She...
She did everything to pick herself up.
She gave everything to herself without limit.
She let go everything to feel herself again.
She face it all! All that pain.

She...
Oo,minsan umiiyak pa din sya,
At hindi nya yun ikinakaila.
Pero kaya na nya!
Mas kayang kaya na nya.

Because She...
She's happy,hurting and healing at the same time.
Don't ask how...
She just did it & She's doing it.

-Ren-

Try

"You're going to have to fight,
It will take time and
it's going to cost you
much more than you could ever imagined.
However the opposition,
take not one step back,
when the dust clears and
the battle is finally finished.
You will truly smile,
for the first time in years..."

[zootopia]

I messed up I lost another fight I still mess up but I'll just start again I keep falling down I keep on hitting the ground I always get up now to see what's next Birds don't just fly They fall down and get up Nobody learns without getting it won I won’t give up, no I won’t give in Till I reach the end And then I’ll start again Though I’m on the lead I wanna try everything I wanna try even though I could fail I won’t give up, no I won’t give in Till I reach the end And then I’ll start again No I won't leave I wanna try everything I wanna try even though I could fail Look how far you've come You filled your heart with love Baby you've done enough that cut your breath Don't beat yourself up Don't need to run so fast Sometimes we come last but we did our best I'll keep on making those new mistakes I'll keep on making them every day Those new mistakes

Try everything......

Pag-Ibig

*Originally written on September 2016.

"Lahat naman tayo gustong makita yung true love natin.
 Kahit naman sino siguro gusto ng happily ever after.
 Tiyagaan lang talaga ng paghihintay at patatagan sa lahat ng sakit na mararanasan.
 Ikaw?.. hanggang kelan mo kayang maghintay? hanggang saan mo kayang maglakbay?"


Sa Pag-ibig, merong... "pagmahal ka, babalikan ka"..
                     meron ding... "True love waits"..
                         merong.. "hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang"..
                                at meron ding... "Pag-ibig na hindi ko man hanapin dudulog, lalapit kung talagang akin".
       Mga kasabihang iisa ang pinuponto kundi "Pag-ibig", mga kasabihang oo, totoo..pero kokonti ang kayang manindigan.
       Sa Pag-ibig, may kanya kanya tayong kwento at gulo ng scenario.
               may komplikado, may hindi kontento, may nagtatagal, may naghihiwalay, may nagsisimula at meron ding malapit nang magsawa.
       Paulit-ulit lang noh? parang gulong na walang ginawa kundi umikot nang umikot, at kahit ma-flat.. pilit pa ring bubumbahan para umikot lang at
               umikot lang ulet.

Sa kwento ng tunay na Pag-ibig.... merong true love na bata pa lang nakilala mo na, meron ding matagal bago mo pa makita.
Merong ........ pinagtagpo na nang tadhana pero takot pang harapin, takot pang mahalin.

Merong ........ Hindi pa pinagtatagpo pero pareho nang handa at naghihintay na lang kung kelan sila magkikita.

Merong ......... parehas nang nasaktan at parehas nang iniwan kaya't takot nang magmahalan.

Merong ......... Kaibigan mo lang pala, hindi mo pa makita.

Merong ......... anjan na, hawak na nila ang isa't isa pero naghahanap pa ng iba.

Merong .......... akala nila, sila na..pero hindi pa pala.

Merong .......... naghihintay, meron ding nagkakasawaan.

Merong .......... kunyari walang pakialam pero kung mag-alala daig pang magulang.

Merong .......... unang kita pa lang alam na nilang sila, at meron din namang nagkita nga pero huli na.

Merong ........ pilit pinaglalaban na parang ang buong mundo'y gusto na nilang takasan.

Merong ........ sobrang saya at ayaw nang pakawalan ang isa't-isa. Meron din namang sobrang tagal na pero alam nilang hindi na sila masaya.

Merong ....... sa simula kaibigan, hanggang matapos kaibigan pa rin??! (manhind lang ??!! -_-||)

Merong ....... kasama  na sa mga options mo, kelangan mo na lang I-select.. and P.S: seryosohin mo na please!!

Merong ....... pilit nagseset nang standard, just another way para sabihing, "sana maging ganto ka para mahalin na kita". (Panu kung hindi? iiwan mo rin ba?)

Merong ....... nagbubulag-bulagan kasi ayaw magkasakitan, pero hindi nila alam na mas Lalo silang nasasaktan sa mga panahong nagpapanggap silang walang pakialam.

Merong ....... patuloy na naghihintay at meron ding patuloy na nagmamahal kahit ilang beses pa silang magkamali at masaktan.

Merong ........ ayaw ng commitment at konteto sa tamang landi... pero panu kung matagpuan mo na ang taong para sa'yo? lalandi ka pa ba ? o this time you're ready to commit na.

Merong ....... pinagtagpo na noon pero mali pa ang panahon, hanggang pagtagpuin muli sila sa pangalwang pagkakataon... pakakawalan nyo pa ba ang isa't isa at aasang sana'y may susunod pa?? o hahawakan mo na sya at sasabihing "Akin ka na!"

Merong ........ mahal mo na pero nagdadalwang isip ka kasi hindi sya yung pinapangarap mong tulad ng iba.

Merong ........ nagmamadali kaya nagkamali.

Merong ........ pigil na pigil pero gigil na gigil... holding them back dahil sa pride na pumipigil sa kanilang damdamin.

Merong ....... ayaw makipagsapalaran dahil pakiramdam nila putcho putcho sila kumpara sa mga minahal nya sa nakaraan.

Meron din namang... hindi nagpatumpik tumpik pa at sinigurado nang para sila sa isa't isa.. walang kokontra!..

          Lahat naman tayo umaasang sana sya na, na sana matagpuan nyo na ang isa't isa at sana wag nang pakawalan pa.
          Maraming pwedeng maging scenario ng istorya mo at ikaw din naman ang bubuo ng sariling kwento mo.
          Madali lang namang intindihin ang nararamdaman... kailangan mo lang pagdesisyunan.

    Kahit saang angulo tingnan at kahit gaano pa kagulo ang nararamdaman....
    Sa huli, PAG-IBIG pa rin ang tawag jan!..

Financial mistakes

cc: imoney.ph

1. You keep on waiting for Salary to come in. "Keep Calm & waiting for salary day" It is five days away from payday and you are surviving with a few pesos for food and transportation every day. Whereas when you received your salary, you spend it with getting expensive coffee and buying all the things that you don’t need. Heck you don’t even budget. 2. You Don’t Have a Savings Account No! A payroll account does not count. It is essential for everyone to have a savings account for them to create their emergency fund. Experts claim an emergency fund should have at least 3-6 months’ worth of income to cope with emergencies or unexpected changes. The emergency fund is used when your car suddenly breaks down or you have to pay the hospital a visit due to an illness or worse because you quit or lost your job, or you have to pay your mortgage, you will need this money to take care of your expenses. People in financial mess do not have emergency funds so they borrow money for such cases, they take a loan or cash advance, therefore incurring more debt. 3. Unable to Pay Credit Card Bills Worse is if you only pay the minimum on each of your credit card bill. You could be saddled with credit card debt for 5 years, or even 10 for that purchase you made recently. And if your answer to your financial woes is to apply for another credit card because what you have are maxed-out, or near their credit limit, then you undoubtedly are headed to a financial crisis! 4. You Rely on your Parents When It gets Rainy The worst thing about not having money during emergencies is asking money to cover for those emergencies. And most of the time, we ask Mom and Dad if they can lend us money, nothing is wrong with that – all of us did that for at least 18 years but if you are working for more than a year now how can you ever pay them back for the money you owe them? 5. You are not even thinking about your retirement. How about your retirement? You may be young but this is the perfect time to think of your retirement fund. When your retirement plans involve winning the lotto, then you’re in trouble. Some people spend money buying lotto tickets hoping that a windfall will come their way to cover their retirement.

Bottom line If you somehow find yourself in any of the above situation, it’s not too late to learn the art of delaying gratification. Self-control is your best bet. If you can’t afford it, wait until you have enough cash to pay for it. If you are a young professional without any dependents, it wouldn’t be impossible to set aside even just P1,000 as your monthly savings. How do you do that? Start keeping track of your expenses which should never exceed your income. List down where you spend your money on a given month and see which portions you can cut back. If only you would limit your booze or think twice before getting that new iPhone, you would have saved a lot already! Learn how to budget and live within your means to avoid financial disasters!

The Art of Pain...

Wala akong magawa kundi bumaluktot at umiyak sa kama… Wala akong magawa kundi ang sumigaw habang pinipigil ng mga unan ang aking palahaw…. Wala akong magawa kundi tangapin ang lahat at tanungin ang sarili "kelan matatapos ang sakit?".. Wala akong magawa kundi lunurin ang sarili sa malulungkot na awit kasabay ng humihikbing mga labi.. Wala akong magawa kundi sisihin ko ang sarili! Magalit! Malungkot! Matakot at kaawaan ang sarili.

Anung pwede kong gawin???

Dahil ang hirap pilitin, ni hindi  na kayang pangitiin..
Anung pwede kong gawin?
Sa mga matang namumugto na tila ba hindi na muling tatawa pa..
Anung pwede kong gawin ? Nang maibsan kahit konti lang ang sakit na aking nararamdaman..
Anung pwede kong gawin? Anu? Pakiusap sabihin mo!

Dahil buong gabing mulat ang aking mga mata,at tila ba hindi na ako humihinga..
Nakahiga sa aking kama, nakatulala at parang hindi kayang bumangon pa.
Walang tigil sa pagtakbo ang pag-iisip. Ang sakit!
Na Parang dinudurog ang aking puso at utak hanggang wala na itong maramdaman pa! Ang sakit!
Ngunit wala akong magawa kundi ang dumaing!
Hindi ko alam ang gagawin!...

Binalikan ko ang mga pangyayari.
Hindi ko malilimutan, nanginiginig ang aking buong katawan, naninikip ang aking dibdib,  at hindi ko alam kung paano at ano ba ang dapat kong gawin.
Bumuhos ang aking mga luha kasabay ng aking paglaban at kunyaring nagtatapang tapangan.
Tinuloy ko ang aking trabaho ngunit ilang sandali'y hindi ko na napigil, ako'y napatakbo palayo at napaluhod sa sobrang panghihina ng aking mga tuhod.
Bakit? Paano? Mga tanong sa aking sarili.
Anung gagawin ko sa sakit na dulot mo? Sabihin mo, nakikiusap ako!

Magnanakaw!!... Nagpapakapagod sa walang Katapusang laban!

 Sinasabi Nya, " Ihinto ang labanan, Ako ang Dios, dapat ninyong malaman, kataas-taasan sa buong sanlibuta'y pinakadakila".

Magdadalwang taon nakong nagtatrabaho abroad,
nagpapakapagod at nagpapakadalubhasa sa buhay ko dito sa mundong to.
Nagpapakabusy, inuubos ang oras sa trabaho at FB,
ngunit natatapos ang araw ko na parang walang satisfaction kundi puro pagod ang bukambibig:
"ayoko na! pagod na ko!" pero buong araw pa ring nagtatrabaho…

Bawat segundong lumipas ay segundong nakakalimot ako sa Panginoon Dios.
"Hassle!, hectic sched! back to back duty! split shift!, 4hours na tulog, non-stop operations,
dito umiikot ang bawat araw ko sa buong linggo...
na para bang hinihintay ko na lang na araw ay matapos at lumubog
Sa panahon na lumipas, hindi ko namalayang araw ay kumaripas,
mga araw na wala ako sa presensya ng Panginoon…ayun at nagwawakas.

 Nanakaw na!! nanakaw na nga ng trabaho kong toh ang mga oras,
araw na dapat sa Kanya ko tinutuon.
"Teka lang! hinay hinay lang, ihinto muna ang laban!"
"Ako naman! Ako'y iyong pakinggan"
"Ako ang pinakadakila, Hari ng mga hari, Kataas-taasan sa buong sanlibutan!"
"Ngunit Ako rin ay iyong Ama, na walang hangad kundi ang yong kabutihan".

Ama, kailanman hindi Ka nawalan ng tiwala sakin,
palagi Mong sinasabi na kaya ko, alalay lang,
lagi Mong pinapaalala sakin na anjan Ka lang
at hinding-hindi mo ako iiwan,
lagi Mong pinapaalam sakin na yung mga blessings na binibigay Mo, lahat yun ay deserved ko
kaya sabi Mo "just received it, be grateful for it and hide it in your heart".
"Mananakaw ang lahat ng mundong toh, ngunit hindi ang pag-ibig Ko sayo".

(originally written on 2014)